Really Essence's?

This is how sick Freaknik: The Musical really is.

10 Most Offensive Things About 'Freaknik: The Musical' by Essence Magazine

10. Introduction of the Plot: We are introduced to the main characters Virgil, Big Oozie, Lightskin, and Dolo Man as they are contemplating entering a rap contest for the prize: "a lifetime supply of money, clothes, and hos." During the conversation, the question is asked by Virgil, "Are we gonna put our dreams on hold for the weed man?" Big Oozie's reply? "We need that kush before we can accomplish anything."



9. Al Sharpton: Before being killed by a freak accident, Al Sharpton sits under a hair dryer eating a bucket of what Freaknik animators labeled, "Stereotypical Fried Chicken."



8. Take it to Church: Freaknik makes an appearance at a church and misquotes Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. when he states, "They're some bad in the best of us, some good in the worst of us, and some freak in all of us." A blasphemous shouting session has the pastor reminding his congregation, with liquor and OJ in his hand, "This is the house of God...so please make your way to the all-purpose room for the real party."



7. The Show Opener: A blowout party favor in the crack of a woman's cellulite-riddled butt cheeks to celebrate the ghost of Freaknik's return wasn't enough. In addition, they threw in T-Pain's vocals, "Freaknik is back in town/Bitches and ho's going to get down," with strippers sliding down poles and humping the air, and of course Cadillac's on 24's.



6. The Ghetto Commandments: Shown briefly during a scene with Trap Jesus and the Sweet Tea Mob, you would've missed the nonsense if you blinked, but we didn't. It included the commandments: "#4. Thou shalt never loveth thy hoes ... #7. Thou shalt only pop bottles on models ... 8. No fun if the homies getteth none."



5. The "Save You" Musical Number: The ghost of Freaknik explains his non-profit organization for needy strippers: "You don't have to watch yo kids, you can go get your nails did....I'll save ya," and "Go find yourself a rich White man/ and let him pay ya/ it might be minimum wage but I'll save ya.." Showing the umpteenth woman in this cartoon dressed with either her breasts or butt exposed.



4. Obama?: After such a monumental win for the African American community, Freaknik's Obama gives this speech: "I am here at that the battle of the trillest to make an announcement: I, Barack Obama step down as President of the United States of America. But don't fear, it's with great confidence I announce my successor: the ghost with the most, Freaknik! Now let's get this motherf-cker crunked!"



3. Tyra Banks Show: The ghost of Freaknik is a guest on the "Tyra Banks" show, and declares that Tyra looks like a "good ole big ass biscuit." He goes on to illustrate his take on relationships with a non-needed reference to anal sex, "You have to stimulate their minds and their baby chutes, like you do their poop chutes."



2. Frat Party: The four main characters of the show walk into a college frat party, receiving a warm welcome only after the party is informed they are "famous rappers." At this party, one guy performs cunnilingus on a girl, an all-gay Black rap group calls another crew of Black males "monkeys," and the character Lightskin admits he likes White women because they have "pink areola."



1. Trap Jesus: With a cross tattooed on his forehead, the voice of Lil Wayne brings Trap Jesus, the biggest dope man in the South, to life. He explains why selling drugs since he was nine was one of the best decisions he ever made, while cooking crack and using Biblical jargon. Seriously, could it get any worse?

AHAHAHAHHAHA I want this on DVD now!